smile though your heart is breaking

my heart is aching

so many people im trying to please its just tearing me apart...one pull me this way n another d other way...so upset...my eyes are sore from crying already...im so tired...so tired...trying to please everyone is just bringing myself to pain...all this while im trying so hard to please all the one i love...now i feel so alone...i wanted it so bad to work out...i hate to ask this...but why?...why?

i feel so sad and alone i dunno what to do anymore...i want to talk it over...but it seems i cant talk to anyone...because speaking my point will bring more sadness unto the people i love...n because its the people i love that i trust this whole time to talk to that now i cant talk to anyone any more...but u probably wont get what im trying to say here...its ok...i dont expect u too...the feeling of sadd and lonelyness that im feeling is not possible to express in words...

i want to talk to you...but talking to u will only hurt u n turn our relationship in to a state where we love each other out of pity...n i DONT ever want that...i DONT want people to love me cuz they pity me...so crying is my ONLY option but i have no shoulder to cry on...just a cold lifeless pillow...

i feel so angry...and it bearks me heart even more...why do people still continue to love me? even if i hurt them so bad? wont it just be easier if everybody just give up hope on me?know that im a lost hope n start on? leave this mess i created for myself...beacuse of my selfishness i want everbody to love me...now...i dont have the capasity to love everyone back...n its all just crashing down on me...i wish that i could just stad by n watch my world crash around me rather then be under all the ruble....

i think i'll go to boston,
i think i'll start a new life,
where no one know my name.
boston- augustana
needs hugs n kisses denise