sleep is just a dream

its 3.21am n i cant fall asleep...tmr im goin out early with my darl...which means i NEED to get sum rest but for sum fucked reason i just cant sleep...i dunno wut happen to me but i guess im just being realy paranoid n thinking way to much...so rite now im feeling like a sad, lost, puppy that has been kicked around...

my future? well heres d perfect word to describe it....FUCKED...

yea pretty much considering i had ppl nice enuff to fuck it up for me...

before this i just wanted to bolt out of this demented country every chance i got dreaming big about other country n goin back to germany...living there...but then i met him...my darl...i love him and he makes me happy...many people around me cant seem to c that n i dunno why...right now he is d only one that has enough of my heart to break it...he change my life alot...not that i flipped it 180 just for him, but he make me realize all the little things i never realy used to give damn about...he makes me laugh when i dont even wanna smile...when im down he cheers me up, when im cold he warms me, when im in pain he makes me laugh so hard my pain is gone n my ribs hurt from laughing instead, even if i fall asleep every night n ditch him he still comes over n teman me...

the point is what im thinking of is that after my coll i MUST leave n these is one of the reason why i dont wanna leave...thats why i cant sleep...

-n so it goes...
please tell me what im suppose to do?
hugs n kisses<3